Hoof in Mouth

Don’t you love stupid stuff? Particularly the stupid things we say. I talk a lot so I wind up with my size 12 Clarks shoe in my mouth nearly every day. Thank goodness no one is following me around with a pen and paper or tv camera. But then again, thank goodness some people are being recorded. One of my all time favorite stupid quotes was from William the Refrigerator Perry who, while a lineman for Clemson University, was asked what he thought of recent NCAA penalties placed on the school for recruiting violations. Part of their sanctions was the so-called tv probation.

The Fridge, replied: “Well…the bad thing is we can’t watch tv for two years”.

Here are a few more: (bless their hearts)

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
Mariah Carey

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
A congressional candidate in Texas.

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Al Gore, Vice President

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
Lee Iacocca

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” –Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jackin at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the ne xt morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

I feel smarter already

6 thoughts on “Hoof in Mouth”

  1. Mr. Mack says:

    You got the Al Gore quote wrong, um, reporter. Google it and see what Snopes has to say…

  2. Anne says:

    Also, the Mariah Carey one. there’s the snopes link for ya.

    And don’t sweat it. My life is dedicated to honoring The Stupid in us all.

  3. jamey tucker says:

    ahh, snopes. Didn’t take the time to check these out. I can vouch for the William Perry quote though.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Remember the Blue Bell ice cream girl? You called you a cow.

  5. jamey tucker says:

    yeah…thanks for bringing that one up.

    The Blue Bell people bring their ice cream to the tv station. In their group was a lovely young woman dressed as the girl in the commercials. Blue bonnet, blue dress, long hair.
    Stupid me who’s never known what to say around women, said “so…are you Blue Bell?”

    idiot. That’s the cow.

    And Sunday School…I was teaching one Sunday and one of the girls in our church had a guest with them. I said something like “And Nancy…you have your mother with you this morning?”

    “No…this is my sister.”

  6. Anonymous says:

    does anyone know where Joe’s blog has gone?

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