Even with the valium, I couldn’t go through with the MRI.
After taking the pills I was called back to the MRI room and I thought if I could see exactly what I was about to get into, I could get rationalize sitting there for about 45 minutes. In my mind, I knew it wasn’t possible to suffocate in the chamber. I could see with my own eyes that with the helmet thing on, I could still be able to breathe.
But I still couldn’t do it. The medication had eased my mind a bit and I didn’t feel that anxious about it, but laying on the table and having the cloth put over my eyes must have sobered me up as the valium didn’t have any effect.
I’m going to try again, maybe one afternoon rather than in the morning. My idea is to stay up most of the night, get as little sleep as possible and then after working through the day, take a valium before getting on the table. I think if they’d leave my eyes uncovered and let me sit there for a few minutes I might be able to doze off. Surely if I fell asleep at the start, I could make it for 45 minutes to an hour.
I’ve figured that the helmet thing is the deal-breaker for me. It covers both my nose and my mouth so when I breathe I can feel my breath hitting me in the face. It makes me feel like, instead of being in a tube that I’m in a box being buried alive.
Even the open-MRI’s use the same type of helmet thing. I’ll call the doctor next week and see what he recommends.
by the way, thanks for the comments, phone calls and e-mails.